I’ve always said, with deep conviction, that conquering the fear of public speaking changes lives.

Faye conquering her fear of public speaking. Here she receives the Best Speaker Ribbon from the then-president of Daybreak.

Not only do I say conquering the fear of public speaking changes lives. I’ve seen it! Over and over and over again, thanks to Toastmasters.   Toastmasters is probably the safest, least expensive and most effective way to conquer a fear many say they’d rather die than do! Toastmasters is an International non-profit educational organization that teaches public speaking and leadership skills through a worldwide network of clubs. I’ve been a member of Toastmasters since 1987. Conquering the fear of public speaking has dramatically changed my life in ALL areas. I’ve seen it do the same for countless others.

One of the most remarkable transformations is the experience of Faye Beyeler. In 2014, she joined Daybreak Toastmasters, an early morning club that meets in Santa Clarita, California.

Meet Faye Beyeler

During a coaching session, I vividly recall Faye trying to explain the level of social anxiety she was wanting to overcome. She didn’t need to say much. Her body language, facial expressions, and voice tonality said it all. She wasn’t just nervous about speaking. She was phobic about it. At the time she visited our club:

I wasn’t speaking. I wasn’t sleeping. I wasn’t working. I was barely functioning. My high level of social anxiety and “not speaking” made interviews difficult. It made any kind of interaction difficult. Analysis wasn’t going to help. I already knew why I was nervous. Getting on with life and just “doing it” was what I had to do. Then, little by little, I started to put my life together. Toastmasters was a huge part of that.

New members often start off performing simple functionary roles – positions designed to facilitate the effectiveness of a meeting – and more importantly – to get folks used to standing up and saying something to a group.

Giving me a simple job within the first meeting (I think I was that meeting’s “um” counter) kept me focused on action and listening to others, rather than dwelling on myself. I went from feeling worthless to being a contributing member in a group whose purpose is to help everyone grow.

With tears stinging my eyes, I provided feedback to Faye after she delivered her first speech, called the Ice Breaker.  I was so inspired and said so as I commented on her bravery and facing her fears. Says Faye of that first speech:

I was far from perfect. In fact, I stuttered my way through, white knuckled, gripping my notes so hard I left finger indentations on the pages. It was scary but possible, because I was in a group with others struggling with their own speech demons. Folks listened, and clapped when I was done – more because I had finished than to what I actually said.

Fay continued her conquest of the debilitating fear. While she read her speeches, she connected more and more with the audience while doing so. Her talks were engaging, interesting, intelligent. Three years after joining us she reported:

I still have my share of social anxiety but much less debilitating than before. That’s huge. I have a higher level of poise becoming my new normal, where awkwardness and tongue-tiedness once reigned. I’m able to go on interviews, and I have secured employment. I gave a PowerPoint presentation to strangers! I even told a story on a stage about overcoming “stuckness.”

Taking it to the next level

Remarkably, Faye did speak from the stage in Santa Monica, California, in an auditorium,  to a group of total strangers. A feat even those of us comfortable with speaking find challenging. The venue is called “Shine,” a once-a-month storytelling event that features experienced and new storytellers. Stories are based on a revelation or an “aha!” moment, described in vivid detail. A moment that opened one to self-discovery. An experience that made one grow. An event that led to a new opportunity. Faye grabbed that new opportunity and “shined.” You can see the video here.

We miss Faye at our Daybreak meetings. Her employment makes attending the 7:00 am meetings difficult. But she is with us in spirit and stands as one of our most inspiring success stories.
What does Faye have to say about her successes?

Better than all of these things, I can talk to people again.